Smoking...

I started this as a journal to keep track of the months, weeks, days, of the second year of my son's life and less importantly, the last year of my twenties I never kept a diary as a kid, but my memory was great until after college.  Now, if I don't remember the day Bennie got his 10th tooth, it upsets me. Why?  Maybe he will be my only child and I feel the need to document every moment of his amazing development.  Or maybe,  I need to just write for me.
ANYWAY
as titled I was going to lament my disgusting habit of smoking...yes I have a child and I smoke.when all the other little toddlers thinkyumm , Ilove the way my mommy smells, like flowers or vanilla, and poor Ben must think my Mommy smells like menthol cigs with an undertone of  "no shower for two days"
sigh

Fall, the Change of Colors, Pumpkins Farms and the annoying sounds of sports on every TV in every room.

Over the weekend, we did the Pumpkin Farm thing. which was great...Bennett seemed to de more interested in drowning himself in the koi pond, than feeding the goats, or horses.  We also tried to attend an event at a Barnes and Noble where "Olivia" the character would be attending, however, per our family's perpetual tradition of arriving at least 45  minutes late to everything ( which, according to my fiancee), is MY doing, we missed the character and arrived at the tail end of the coloring activity.  Bennett took no interest in this and took off like a bat out of hell(yes, I curse, sorry if it offends you, it's # 84 on my self-improvement list).  That child does not even look back to see if we are in view or where in the world he is. Kinda concerning, but hopefully one day soon he will realize he does belong WITH us and actually care a teeny bit about our proximity to him. 

Yesterday, football at my parents, great day..however he took a short nap and fell asleep at about 10:30, 11ish and woke up at noon. I can here the gasps of the when it's dark out mommies and props to you!  He usually goes in his room for 2-3 book at 9-9:30, but tonight it was 11:30 again.  It's nice sleeping in, but it's also nice to know what everyone is talking about on the latest "Glee" episode or actually watch Prime Time TV.  When I hear PTT in my head, it has that magical beginning of a movie sound.  Haven't watched it since he has been born really, other then when he couldn't move and slept and nursed a lot.  Lots of TV time then, which I am trying not to reminisce positively, as my semi-permanently stationary position for the first (what day is it) left me 3 sizes bigger and the yoga mat still rolled.

Welcome to Myself

I have succumb to the world of blogging, which at first was of no interest to me, and then I began my obsessive following of others who wrote these on-line pieces of insights, disasters and THINGS I THOUGHT ONLY I WOULD DO!  It was a revelation to know that yes, other children at ten months had fallen off beds, and (this still brings a pain to my heart) changing tables.  To clear the air about the changing table incident, my fiancée stepped away for five seconds to hold an outfit out for me to see from the other room through the doorway, and the sickening thud instantaneously and amazingly allowed my 50 pound over-weight body to spring into the other room at light speed.  Bennett, our one and only son, was fine and now is a running, happy angel.  He is the best thing that ever happened to me and I miss him right now-he is at Grandma & Gramps.  I am a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM), with one car shared between the family, so I feel guilty that the at home part is too "at home."  I resolve to walk or take him to the park every day.  Bennett was born on June 23, 2009, just over fifteen months and into EVERYTHING.  "Hot" has become my saving grace, as it seems "no" is a word he does not hear.  So I will use this as a diary of our lives, as a year has passed and it still bothers me I don't remember the exact day he first ate cereal. I tried to keep a book, month by month, but as we all know time flew (at times slower than others), and I want to learn from others this year and use the support of people like me to get through the third reading of "the race car book" at night time with the knowledge that I will miss him pointing at balloons and raising only his right arm at the end for "Hooray" because the other is snuggled around me.